Moment of Realization

Loneliness, is often misconceived. Loneliness is not always a bad thing. I honestly have been a lonely person since childhood. I didn't even get along with my cousins. Every family gathering, the similar scenario will occur ; cousins gather and play whilst I sit alone at the corner and amuse myself. Some may consider my condition rather pitiful. Well I did too. As I grew up, I began to accept being a lonely soul and went about with my daily life. I had a few aquaintances in school, but none who I could address as a friend. When I was 9, I grew close to 2 girls from my class It was pure bliss and joy to have friends to talk to and share stories. However, our friendship was short lived. It was a rather teary separation as both of them went to different schools the following year. So there I was again back at square one - lonely.  We still do keep in touch but the separation took a toll on our friendship as we aren't as close as we used to be. The following year I befriended 2 girls, for the sake of companionship and to blend in with the crowd. I was foolish to think I was part of the click, when I was merely being made use of.

God works in the weirdest ways possible. When we entered High School we were put in different classes. I was all alone in my new class, I didn't know anybody in my class. At first I was soo upset with this new changes, being alienated from my friends as we were in different classes now. I slowly began to realize my friends true colours. I was left baffled as I really trusted them and thought we were friends. For the sake of not being branded as a lone ranger I just tagged along with them, it was torture especially when I knew their true intentions. After a year or so, I got fed up of putting on a mask and torturing myself. Hence, I distanced myself from them slowly. I spent my lunch break  studying or reading books. Surprisingly, I was happier and more at peace being alone. That was my AHA Moment, as Oprah would say. From that on, I began to observe people around me. In time my observation skills improved, to the point where I could see when someone was genuinely happy, sad and etc. After a while I started observing everyone in a different perspective. To take a step back from the hectic, dramatic and stressful atmosphere and just see how people act, react, their body movement and the list goes on. This was an eye opening experience as I learnt to not judge people so easily and to live my life on my own terms no matter what comes. Well this discovery of life at such a tender age wouldn't have been possible if I was not given that moment of loneliness. God knows what's good for you and when to give certain things to you. So be patient and believe. Though I have befriended many from different walks of life, but I still do like my moments of loneliness - I now call it , Moment of Self Reflection. It has a better ring to it, and doesn't sound so mundane. I would like to end this with a note - Loneliness does have its perks. It made me a better Me for myself, my family and my friends. Thank you Lord for always being my Guardian angel and watching out for me.